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Submitted on
January 26, 2010
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4 (who?)
Melody: A sweet or agreeable succession of sounds.

Harmony -
Pleasing combination of two or three tones played together in the background while a melody is being played. Harmony also refers to the study of chord progressions.

Canon -
A musical form where the melody or tune is imitated by individual parts at regular intervals. The individual parts may enter at different measures and pitches. The tune may also be played at different speeds, backwards, or inverted.

The loss of a mother.

When melody was in her young teens roboticizing was something that had become a force to reckon with.
Originally her home was a place of beauty but as the dark forces grew in strength it began to over take region by region. It started off small but grew at such a huge rate. Small towns to large cities soon became engulfed in chaos. Strength to strength it grew like a wild fire. Yet none knew where this power/being came from and slowly there found there world was falling to darkness.

The roboticized droids of former residences roamed the cities destroying all that defied them and they would gather the strong to have them roboticized also. Hundreds of people became to the same fate.
Cities soon became abandoned and ended up being the very battlefields of war.

Melody had lost her father at a young age due to chaos but never knew what actually happened to him. She was brought up by her mother Harmony solely afterwards and ended up becoming extremely close.

Years past and they lived in hiding with others and were safe for the time being but things soon changed.

One evening they were caught out as someone had been followed back after gathering supplies. The warehouse doors flew open as bots of all shape and sizes flooded in. Overwhelming everyone, people running in blind panic as one by one they were captured. A handful kept there own, which included melody and harmony. fighting with every ounce of energy in there bodies. As Melody flew down on a bot smashing its head into the ground under foot she turned to she her mother standing there in fear as a figure stepped forward towards her.

"MOTHER MOVE!!!" as melody tried to run to her but overwhelmed by bots herself

Harmony staired in disbelief as the figure moved closer through the smoke to reveal her husband Canon fully Roboticized. Emotionless and cold. Another figure in the smoke stood there watching. Canons hand snapped at Harmonies throat lifting her off the ground squeezing tighter, as she held on to his arm.

"Canon what have they done to you?" she whimpered as his grip tightened
The figure in the smoke nodded and with no hesitation Canon snapped Harmonies neck like a twig.
Melody still fighting her way to her mother let out an all mighty scream as she smashed two bots heads together to get free. The figure and Canon moved into the shadows as the other bots finished off the pickings. Melody fell to her knees tears streaming down her face. Yet she felt something grab her hand. She looked up coldly to see riot.

"come with me, theres no time!" he yelled over the noise
she looked down at the floor where her mother lay. Riot pulled her by the hand as the building started to cave in around them, nearly hitting the two of them.
Melody putting up no resistance, he picked her up in his arms and ran as fast as his legs could carry them both.
Melody looking back as the building she had called home crumbled. Tears still running down her face as she watched over his shoulder.
Well this is melody's story :D

Ill start by saying sorry now for any spelling or grammer in this thats wrong but hey I'm normally an artist you know LOL

This story is something that melody has found extremely hard to deal with and for along while was a very closed person. Riot luckily over time brought her out of her shell and helped her find herself again. She wants revenge for her mothers death and try and bring back her father or if need be kill him, cause to her as it stands he is dead to her. She wants answers, like who was the figure in the smoke???

I know its a sad story but everyone can't be happy all the time and I thought bringing Roboticizing into was a nice touch something I use to love in the old cartoons :D but this world they live in is huge and this is only one region where its become a huge problem but surely it could spread?

Please guys let me know what you think and be kind writing is something I'm not to strong at and is normally what si is best at. LOL

Also did you like the touches at the beginning about the meaning of there names.

anyways enjoy and feedback feedback feedback :P
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Wonderful job for someone who is more of a visual artist. The emotions you showed in the scenes with your choice of melody and harmony was beautifuly done. The ideas of Droids roaming the city was an excellent idea and how its been merge in with a tragity such as a loved one that care for you all your life that has been taken away in a split second was potrayed wonderfully. Keep up the great work for you may look back at it and see it as a stepping stone to something amazing, hope that there is another chapter coming soon. 8-)
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eccentrical-disorder Feb 1, 2010
Oh, don't worry. There were quite a few of grammatical errors here and there but other than that, it's a touching story. And yes, I love the "before the intro" of the fiction. Defining their names adds up on what kind of character they are and it also fogs in our thoughts on if we are right on their persona or not. :3

I guess the only thing that made me curious here is that on how Melody can fight. Probably, because her experience when she was child learned her the survival of their place? It would actually been best if you describe on what they looked like, despite that you already posted pictures of them. Plus, they give us a suspense on who those characters are. It's like you're watching a theater and the light goes out. A deep voice is heard throughout the stage and then the lights will appear and then suddenly, you would be surprised that the voice belongs to that awaited hero you've been all anticipated for.

Overall, this chapter is great! ;3 It quite leaves us in a wonder on how Melody's journey will continue and what it will become of her. Though you already explained it in your artist's comment. Hehehe...can't wait to see more of your fiction work. ^__^
thank you so much :blush: that truely means alot to me :hug: and yeah I wanted to leave some things to the reader to think about u know??? oh you know that quiz u sent me can u link me again i deleted my replies and totally forgot about it :( but again thank u for such a lovely comment
eccentrical-disorder Feb 9, 2010
You're welcome. C: you want me to give it to you again?
please if thats ok *hides*
eccentrical-disorder Feb 9, 2010
Hahaha! The link doesn't bite. ;3 [link]
CanYouFeelSora921 Jan 27, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
......*stares at screen with millions of thoughts going through mind* Wow....I....I....I can't find out what to say, It's so sad!
hawkeye-maverick Jan 27, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sorry it took me a while to get to this ^^; I didn't have any time last night to read it (darn you Chem. and Calc homework!! :shakefist: ) But this was a good start. I'd love to see more details and learn more :)
oh really :hug; thanks hun and I hope your homework went ok what would you wanna know more about?? also do you think it needs more depth to it?
hawkeye-maverick Jan 27, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well I guess just a continuation. What happens next? Why was Riot there? And it felt really fast-paced. Sensory details are really essential when it comes to writing (not just sight, but touch, smell, sound) and it can add great emotional depth. You focused a lot of sight but it would probably add to the story to have others: the sound of her heart thumping, the smell of blood, crunching metal when Melody smashes the robot heads together.
You punctuation was overall good but commas offer a nice rest in long sentences and can add drama believe it or not :)
If it was me, I probably would've written it in first person. It's a LOT more personal to tell it from Melody's point of view. And it would've given us a lot more emotional insight although you did good with that when her mother died.
Anyways, that's all I can think of at the moment. If you want, I could print out a copy of this, critique it, scan the pages, and put it in my scraps or something.
some really good points hun actually :D for me writing doesn't come as fluid as drawing simon normally plays a key part in helping me. but honestly if thats no trouble for you that would help me out alot and I could re write it and see what you think from that. Would mean so much 2 me thanks hun
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